Saturday, March 14, 2009

Dreaming and Fearing of a Place of My Own

I live in an apt my parents bought years ago, even though they're not
always here, they still stay here often -- it's their place after all.
I'm pretty dependent on my parents, not for money as I pay the bills
but the idea of having them around and getting advice from them and
maybe the feeling of not having to answer to things. People my age
have all moved on to new phases in life, moving in with boyfriend,
getting a apt, etc, while I still live the same way years after
college. Sometimes I wonder if I'm just too chicken to make changes or
if I'm too lazy to try new things. I tell myself I want a place of my
own, where everything is under my control and all, when it comes to
actually making changes, I hesitate. My boyfriend wants the two of us
to buy a place together, with lower prices and the new tax break, it
seems more likely than ever. He's afraid of marriage, so if we moved
in together, it'll be as if we jointly invested in a place. Advice for
unmarried couples buying a property together all recommend drafting a
document with a good real estate lawyer so no one is stuck paying the
mortgage in the case of a breakup or worse. I want marriage in a
abstract way but have seen how it really is. My parents and my sister
have good marriages because they're exceedingly generous people, I
feel like I'm a lot less so. Prices in my neighborhood have not
dropped recently since this new Chinatown is hot among moneyed
immigrants, there is even a new luxury condo going up that offers
1-bedroom apts for 400k, pretty unrealistic for my/my bf's income
bracket. If I went outside this neighborhood, prices are in the 170k -
180k range for a 1-bedroom co-op, which I could maybe afford if I
stayed employed and brownbag my lunch every day. There are many things
motivating me to change, and many reasons dragging my feet, I'll have
to see if life pushes me harder in one direction than another in the
coming months.